Best Interpersonal Relations
-Six ways to make people like you. -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking. -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations."
"I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small."
"Don't wish you had already read this in the future when you can read it NOW."
"It's funny how long ago this book was written yet the fundamental truths of human interactions haven't changed for thousands of years."
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A timely and important new book that challenges everything we think we know about cultivating true belonging in our communities, organizations, and culture, from the #1 bestselling author of Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection HELLO SUNSHINE BOOK CLUB PICK “True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are. She writes, “True belonging requires us to believe in and belong to ourselves so fully that we can find sacredness both in being a part of something and in standing alone when necessary. Praise for Brené Brown’s Rising Strong “[Brown’s] research and work have given us a new vocabulary, a way to talk with each other about the ideas and feelings and fears we’ve all had but haven’t quite known how to articulate. Thankfully, Brené Brown is there with an outstretched arm to help us up.” —Simon Sinek, author of Start with Why and Leaders Eat Last. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation–Brené Brown Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"I started working toward being an Amazon Top 1000 reviewer about a year ago. And I chose it, because sad though it is, my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads are the last place in this entire world where I am willing to communicate, in any capacity, with other human beings. So lonely that as I type this I feel like crying, even though I accepted this as my reality a long time ago. I struggle to call and make appointments because it requires talking to strangers, and for this reason I also can't go to the grocery store, or the gas station, or any other list of a hundred places that normal people go to have normal lives. You see, I decided five years ago that I was done with fitting in, and that I'd rather be lonely and alone, than to continue immersing myself in a world I found caustic. I saw people ripping each other down through the medium of social media because they didn't have to look that person in the face, and see how their comments hurt them. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as the years have passed, I've cut myself so far off from humanity that it feels like I'm the only person left in my world. But I didn't know how else to express the impact this book had on me, without first talking about how much pain I've been in, and how nefarious my reasons for reading it in the first place. I expected to write an honest, clinical review discussing its contents from a dispassionate point of view. But instead, here I am, still clumsily attempting to convey my feelings in the hopes that some part of this review might encourage even one other person to read this book."
"This is the best of all of her books, as well as a prescription for being alive now, of being a citizen, a human being, a kind and caring and loving person--now--at this time in history. I read it yesterday and today in two sittings and am going back again and again to the writing, the ideas, and the inspiration to me to life more authentically and to be able to connect with others in deeper and braver ways."
"I've only listened to the first chapter of the book so far and I've been in tears three times."
"This is the book that I needed now."
"I could read and re read this author all day."
"I also appreciated her perspective of how social media has separated us and allowed us to be unaccountable to each other, and that our real longing is for personal connection and contact ('move in, hold hands, with strangers')."
"I just finished this book and enjoyed many of the concepts and ideas it presented."
"I didn’t realize how much the book was going to be on the political divide."
Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves. In our culture, which emphasizes group work from elementary school through the business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts. With Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking , Cain explores introversion through psychological research old and new, personal experiences, and even brain chemistry, in an engaging and highly-readable fashion. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness. Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society-from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group work rather than individual thought. QUIET talks about “restorative niches,” the places introverts go or the things they do to recharge their batteries. “A superbly researched, deeply insightful, and fascinating book that will change forever the way society views introverts .”. — Gretchen Rubin , author of The Happiness Project “ Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm . In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of extroversion. Mark my words, this book will be a bestseller.”. — Guy Kawasaki , author of Enchantment “Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"My entire life has been on hold since this started, I get home from work too exhausted to do anything except veg out for a couple hours and go to bed, and even weekends aren't much better. I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up). I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months)."
"As somebody who has been called at some point or another the gamut of terms associated with introversion, from "shy" (which I don't object) to "anti-social" (which I most certainly consider unfair), I found in Susan Cain's "Quiet," the validation and appreciation many introverts have been searching for. In "Quiet," Ms. Cain explains the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the 1920s and how it is that today we associate talkative, risk-taking, and action-oriented people with intelligence, beauty, power and success. She interviews scientists who have conducted hundreds of studies to test different theories in an effort to determine how much of our temperament is a result of genetics and/or of our free will. For those still deciding on a career, the author reminds readers that research shows that introverts are not reward-seeking like extroverts, but rather motivated by the enjoyment they find in pursuing an activity; in other words, by being in what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls the "flow"."
"An engaging non-fiction book that doesn't just devolve into confirmation bias or a single note thesis."
"I recommend this to both introverts and extroverts."
"As a very classic introvert, I felt like she was reading my mail."
Best Psychology of Personalities
Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves. In our culture, which emphasizes group work from elementary school through the business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts. With Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking , Cain explores introversion through psychological research old and new, personal experiences, and even brain chemistry, in an engaging and highly-readable fashion. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness. Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society-from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group work rather than individual thought. QUIET talks about “restorative niches,” the places introverts go or the things they do to recharge their batteries. “A superbly researched, deeply insightful, and fascinating book that will change forever the way society views introverts .”. — Gretchen Rubin , author of The Happiness Project “ Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm . In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of extroversion. Mark my words, this book will be a bestseller.”. — Guy Kawasaki , author of Enchantment “Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"My entire life has been on hold since this started, I get home from work too exhausted to do anything except veg out for a couple hours and go to bed, and even weekends aren't much better. I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up). I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months)."
"This book is written by an introvert, and while it discusses extroversion, it focuses on the benefits of introversion. I like myself, but reading this book made me feel like there are many other people who face the same feelings and worries that I do. Somewhere while reading this book, I stopped feeling like I was a good teacher despite my introverstion but that I am a good teacher largely because of my introversion."
"As somebody who has been called at some point or another the gamut of terms associated with introversion, from "shy" (which I don't object) to "anti-social" (which I most certainly consider unfair), I found in Susan Cain's "Quiet," the validation and appreciation many introverts have been searching for. In "Quiet," Ms. Cain explains the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the 1920s and how it is that today we associate talkative, risk-taking, and action-oriented people with intelligence, beauty, power and success. She interviews scientists who have conducted hundreds of studies to test different theories in an effort to determine how much of our temperament is a result of genetics and/or of our free will. For those still deciding on a career, the author reminds readers that research shows that introverts are not reward-seeking like extroverts, but rather motivated by the enjoyment they find in pursuing an activity; in other words, by being in what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls the "flow"."
Best Running Meetings & Presentations
-Six ways to make people like you. -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking. -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations."
"I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small."
"I don't get why people think this is so amazing, this is basically a guide book to being a psychopath, at one point just tells you to force yourself to smile to others."
Best Love & Romance
Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." "In this unabridged recording of material the author has been perfecting for years, he says that people experience love most strongly through one of five love languages--quality time, words of encouragement, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Without making light of the work a marriage requires, he'll convince most listeners that with just a little planning and effort they can make a good marriage great and a broken partnership truly satisfying again."
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"I was once asked to read this book by the only person in the world I love.....I refused. It's not a good feeling as a man to agree to read a book on relationships because you feel like you're putting everything into the authors hands.....and what if he "doesn't understand" or what if the advice doesn't apply to us.....what if it makes things worse between us because he advises things we don't believe in.....no....I'm not reading that I told her. I thought no matter what we would always figure each other out and we would be ok......I didn't see being asked to read this book , was a cry out from the woman I love hitting a boiling point and her attempt to communicate to me in a different way......the same things she's been trying to for a long time..... Instead of being some guys opinions or......typical shrink talk that in no way could apply to each specific relationship.......I found it to be a book that opens up the mind to the understanding of love.....and how it is not this one universal "language" we all feel we should be the same with.....I once told her...."nobody taught me how to love, I'm growing....learning".....I pleased with her to understand I love her.......we simply didn't have an understanding of how and why we didnt approach love the exact same way as each other.....only makes sense that it should be the same right? I will just end it like this..... last night I took a stretch that I have been doing for over 2 years and I changed it in a slightly different way....... a lot of the pain I normally get daily is gone....... just to put a spotlight on that sentence .....I'm saying that what I had been doing for so long..... trying to cure one of the biggest problems in my life that hadnt been working............that I continued doing........ believing in and depending on.... to be my much needed answer.......It wasn't until I allowed the idea of the same stretch applied in a different way, that I ALLOWED life to be better for me. You have to go into the book with an open mind because if you do it with the mindset of wanting it to say what it is that you want to hear.....then you can never let the life-changing words happen.......you're learning a language as you read...not what's right and wrong but what was being lost in life. Keep in mind this is a book about the language of love so if you think about when you go to school to learn a different language...you are taking the difficult step of taking time there in order to understand.....be able to take what you understand and apply it.....and be able to communicate in a NEEDED way once you learn....AND THEN USE......communicate and UNDERSTAND eachother."
"My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication."
"Learning what your LOVE language is, is essential to learning whom you should be connected to."
"Our counselor gave us, this book, for homework after our first session. I have been seeing her for the last couple of months and she asked me if I could get my partner to come to the next session to give her a different perspective of me."
"Showed us our similarities, differences, and really how to speak each others love language."
Best Psychology of Creativity & Genius
Passionately argued, superbly researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how they see themselves. In our culture, which emphasizes group work from elementary school through the business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts. With Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking , Cain explores introversion through psychological research old and new, personal experiences, and even brain chemistry, in an engaging and highly-readable fashion. Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness. Q: What personal significance does the subject have for you?A: When I was in my twenties, I started practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation. Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak. (3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion they can learn to control. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society-from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group work rather than individual thought. QUIET talks about “restorative niches,” the places introverts go or the things they do to recharge their batteries. “A superbly researched, deeply insightful, and fascinating book that will change forever the way society views introverts .”. — Gretchen Rubin , author of The Happiness Project “ Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm . In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of extroversion. Mark my words, this book will be a bestseller.”. — Guy Kawasaki , author of Enchantment “Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"My entire life has been on hold since this started, I get home from work too exhausted to do anything except veg out for a couple hours and go to bed, and even weekends aren't much better. I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up). I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months)."
"As somebody who has been called at some point or another the gamut of terms associated with introversion, from "shy" (which I don't object) to "anti-social" (which I most certainly consider unfair), I found in Susan Cain's "Quiet," the validation and appreciation many introverts have been searching for. In "Quiet," Ms. Cain explains the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the 1920s and how it is that today we associate talkative, risk-taking, and action-oriented people with intelligence, beauty, power and success. She interviews scientists who have conducted hundreds of studies to test different theories in an effort to determine how much of our temperament is a result of genetics and/or of our free will. For those still deciding on a career, the author reminds readers that research shows that introverts are not reward-seeking like extroverts, but rather motivated by the enjoyment they find in pursuing an activity; in other words, by being in what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls the "flow"."
"An engaging non-fiction book that doesn't just devolve into confirmation bias or a single note thesis."
"I recommend this to both introverts and extroverts."
"As a very classic introvert, I felt like she was reading my mail."
Best Marriage & Long-Term Relationships
Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." "In this unabridged recording of material the author has been perfecting for years, he says that people experience love most strongly through one of five love languages--quality time, words of encouragement, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Without making light of the work a marriage requires, he'll convince most listeners that with just a little planning and effort they can make a good marriage great and a broken partnership truly satisfying again."
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"I was once asked to read this book by the only person in the world I love.....I refused. It's not a good feeling as a man to agree to read a book on relationships because you feel like you're putting everything into the authors hands.....and what if he "doesn't understand" or what if the advice doesn't apply to us.....what if it makes things worse between us because he advises things we don't believe in.....no....I'm not reading that I told her. I thought no matter what we would always figure each other out and we would be ok......I didn't see being asked to read this book , was a cry out from the woman I love hitting a boiling point and her attempt to communicate to me in a different way......the same things she's been trying to for a long time..... Instead of being some guys opinions or......typical shrink talk that in no way could apply to each specific relationship.......I found it to be a book that opens up the mind to the understanding of love.....and how it is not this one universal "language" we all feel we should be the same with.....I once told her...."nobody taught me how to love, I'm growing....learning".....I pleased with her to understand I love her.......we simply didn't have an understanding of how and why we didnt approach love the exact same way as each other.....only makes sense that it should be the same right? I will just end it like this..... last night I took a stretch that I have been doing for over 2 years and I changed it in a slightly different way....... a lot of the pain I normally get daily is gone....... just to put a spotlight on that sentence .....I'm saying that what I had been doing for so long..... trying to cure one of the biggest problems in my life that hadnt been working............that I continued doing........ believing in and depending on.... to be my much needed answer.......It wasn't until I allowed the idea of the same stretch applied in a different way, that I ALLOWED life to be better for me. You have to go into the book with an open mind because if you do it with the mindset of wanting it to say what it is that you want to hear.....then you can never let the life-changing words happen.......you're learning a language as you read...not what's right and wrong but what was being lost in life. Keep in mind this is a book about the language of love so if you think about when you go to school to learn a different language...you are taking the difficult step of taking time there in order to understand.....be able to take what you understand and apply it.....and be able to communicate in a NEEDED way once you learn....AND THEN USE......communicate and UNDERSTAND eachother."
"My wife and I have 2 small children and our house is hard to stay clean because every room feels like a mess. A big part of improving your relationship with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is to sticking with a date night to make sure you have quality time together. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and got stuck in the rut of an endless routine of doing everything we could for our kids, followed by daily chores and left little time for ourselves. Committing to 1 date night a week has really helped our relationship and improved our communication."
"I have heard about this book for over a decade and I finally decided to purchase and read it."
"I bought the paperback for a friend (I have the Kindle version for myself) so she would better understand my request for Touch and Quality Time."
"Great book, I read a friends book and decided to purchase it for myself."
"Gives you unique insight into how to best communicate your love for your significant other in a manner that best helps them understand how you feel."
"Really comes to show you why people are the way they are."
"This is an excellent book."
Best Mate Seeking
-Six ways to make people like you. -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking. -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment.
Reviews
Find Best Price at Amazon"The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations."
"I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small."
"The values and discussion are as relevant today as they have ever been and this book, despite its incredible acclaim, exceeded all expectations. This book is one of the most useful, important, and relevant pieces of work that I’ve ever read."
"Yes, there is nothing new here but I would say that much like the basket ball star who practices relentlessly the same foul shot over & over again so that when its crunch time, the ball hits the hoop to win the game no matter how much pressure is on."
"I'm happy to have read this--it flows well and many truths to it albeit they're of scientifically argued for."